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3 Strategies to Help You End Relationship Anxiety for Good

What if my partner stops loving me? Are we really compatible? Am I with the right person? Are they cheating on me?

These are questions that anyone who’s ever been in a relationship has likely asked themself at some point. Frankly, never questioning whether you and you and your partner are a good match, if they’re faithful, and what you would do if the two of you broke up wouldn’t be healthy. But if you struggle with relationship anxiety, these thoughts can quickly become obsessive and even detrimental to your relationship.

Relationships & SexErinn WilliamsFebruary 11, 2021ELEVATED life counselingrelationships, relationship baggage, relationship anxiety, relationship avoidance, trusting relationships, can i trust my partner, anxiously in love, dating anxiety, good communication

How Happy Couples Fight

Every couple fights. How you do it is what matters.

When you and your partner disagree, do your arguments turn into competitions about which of you is “right”? Do you find yourself in screaming matches? Does either of you give the cold shoulder to the other? All these ways of fighting are common, but none of them are productive.

Relationships & SexErinn WilliamsJanuary 29, 2021ELEVATED life counselingcouples communication, effective communication, bad communication, couples therapy, fighting fair

Set Your Sex Life on Fire: The Difference Between Sexual Intercourse and Sensual Intercourse

When I tell my clients to begin practicing sensual intercourse instead of the same sexual intercourse they’ve always had, I am often met with looks of confusion. The words “sexual” and “sensual” are used interchangeably, potentially causing many to think, “What’s the difference?” Sexual intercourse can be great. Some might consider it one of life’s greatest pleasures- that is until they’ve discovered sensual intercourse.

Relationships & SexErinn WilliamsJanuary 20, 2021ELEVATED life counselingcouples therapy, Sex, sexless relationship, sexless marriage, sensate focus, sensual intercourse, sexual intercourse, improve your sex life, improve relationship

Getting Cheated on May Have Nothing to Do with You or Your Relationship: So What’s the Problem?

Imagine that you’re in a relationship, and one day, you discover that your partner was unfaithful. You might immediately ask yourself, “Am I not good enough?” or “What’s missing in this relationship that they had to go somewhere else to find?” Many people believe that if their partner cheats, it must be due to a shortcoming either in the relationship, sex, or worse- in themselves. But what if I told you that it’s possible none of those things were the problem?

SupportErinn WilliamsJanuary 14, 2021ELEVATED life counselingcheating, infidelity, relationships, relationship anxiety, couples therapy, esther perel

First Date Red Flags: How to Know if One Date is Enough

First dates can be complicated. There’s a lot to consider, such as whether or not you have chemistry with the person, if your values match up, and if they seem like they’d be able to fulfill your needs and wants in a relationship. All of this just to answer one seemingly simple question: Do you want to see them again?

Relationships & SexErinn WilliamsDecember 23, 2020ELEVATED life counseling

This Foolproof Strategy Can Help You Achieve Your 2021 Relationship Goals

Have you thought about your goals for 2021? After 2020 turned out to be completely different than anyone expected, setting goals for next year might feel pointless. Although no one knows for sure what will happen in 2021, setting achievable goals can help restore a healthy sense of purpose and control in your life.

SupportErinn WilliamsDecember 17, 2020New Years Resolution, 2021, Goals, goal setting, achieve your goals, improve your sex life, improve relationship, improve work flow, improve communication, improve work life balance, how to improve sleep

The Best Way to Handle Getting Hit Up by an Ex

You know that old saying, “They always come back”? Always is quite an overstatement, but that saying definitely didn’t just come out of nowhere. In March, 25% of people reported receiving contact from an ex. And that was just the beginning of the pandemic.

SupportErinn WilliamsDecember 11, 2020ELEVATED life counselingmillennials, dating during covid, how to handle your ex, break ups, dating in your 20s, dating in your 30s, fear of rejection, good communication

How to Get Your Partner to Adopt Your Love Language

Quality time. Physical touch. Words of affirmation. Gifts. Acts of service. Most of my clients have a sense of what love language they speak. Some are even able to identify the preferred love languages of their partners. Identifying you and your partner’s love languages is a great step towards increasing intimacy and reducing conflict in your relationship. Where many people get stuck, I’ve found, is in trying to figure out how to communicate in their partner’s differing love language, and even more so, how to get their partner to communicate in theirs.

Relationships & SexErinn WilliamsDecember 2, 2020ELEVATED life counselingdating, dating advice, 5 languages of love, how to get your partner to adopt your love language, relationships, couples communication, effective communication, relationship anxiety, improve relationship, gifts, quality time, physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service

Every Single’s Guide to Thriving During the 2020 Holidays

I think we’re all aware that being single during the holidays can be tough. You know how it is. Seasonal rom coms start clogging up your Netflix recommendations. Matching pajamas on Instagram. All that stuff that’s fun and cute unless you’re the one not doing it. Even if you love being single, Aunt Karen with the questions about why you’re still single can get pretty annoying this time of year.

Coping StrategiesErinn WilliamsNovember 25, 2020ELEVATED life counselinghow to cope with holidays, dating, millennials, single during the holidays, loneliness, loneliness during holidays

Eating Disorder Recovery: Coping with Feeling Full During the Holidays

Well, here we are, everyone. Somehow, after eight months of the world being turned upside down by the Coronavirus Pandemic, we made it to the Holiday Season. Thanksgiving is already less than two weeks away! While the Winter Holidays can be joyful, those in eating disorder recovery often find this time stressful and triggering.

Coping StrategiesErinn WilliamsNovember 19, 2020ELEVATED life counselingeating disorders, eating disorder recovery, eating disorders during holidays, how to cope with holidays, recovery during the holidays, how to survive thanksgiving

You Can Have It All: Expert Secrets to Balancing Love and Your Career

If you are a career-driven person, you might be wondering if it’s possible to be successful at work while dating or maintaining a romantic relationship. Society constantly sends messages that make it seem like you have to choose one or the other. You can work, or you can be a mom. You can be a devoted husband, or you can travel for business. Our brains like this kind of “either-or” thinking because it makes information easy to categorize. However, in a world full of shades of grey, dichotomies like these are rarely ever true. You can, in all actuality, have both.

SupportErinn WilliamsNovember 10, 2020ELEVATED life counselingmillenials, millennial burnout, dating in your 20s, work life balance, improve work life balance, how to prioritize your relationship

Troubleshooting Your Goals: Lessons from a Therapist’s Career Journey

I have had a passion for psychology since I knew what it was. The human experience has always fascinated me. When asked why I became a mental health counselor, I often share a funny anecdote I remember about when the local high school counselor came to my middle school to talk to us 8th graders about selecting our 9th grade classes. I remember seeing in the course handbook that Introduction to Psychology was only allowed for sophomores and above. Hoping this was some kind of misprint, I raised my hand and asked the visiting counselor if this was really true. She confirmed, and I, disappointed and determined, resolved that at the end of my freshman year, I would be the first to sign up.

SupportErinn WilliamsNovember 4, 2020ELEVATED life counselingmillennials, grad school, getting through grad school, how to get through grad school, coping with grad school, coping with graduate school, get through roadblocks, get through road blocks

Vulnerability and The Bachelorette: Is There Such a Thing as Too Much Too Soon?

If you’re following The Bachelorette, you likely saw last week’s episode, in which Bachelorette Clare Crawley and Jason Foster, the former NFL player selected for the first one-on-one date of Season 16, exchanged emotional stories in the woods. The date began with the couple releasing primal screams into the night air, followed by their writing of hurtful words others used to label them on stone tablets, smashing the tablets against the rocks, and then writing and sharing letters to their childhood selves with one another. Clare opened up about feeling invisible during high school. Jason, clearly new to this whole vulnerability thing, vaguely alluded to his own childhood trauma, admitting that talking about his “demons” is difficult for him. The two ended the evening with a makeout session, and Clare rewarded Jason for his hard emotional labor with the first rose of the week.

Relationships & SexErinn WilliamsOctober 27, 2020ELEVATED life counselingThe Bachelorette, The Bachelor, The Bachelorette review, vulnerability, dating, sharing too much, how much to share on first date, how to date, what to talk about on a date, brene brown

3 Signs You and Your Partner Have Chemistry and Why It Matters

Healthy, long-lasting relationships are made of several essential building blocks. Typically, elements like trust, shared core values, similar goals, and some level of attraction create the foundation for successful relationships. Relationships are sort of like the game Tetris. If each partner has qualities that fit with the needs of the other, a solid, secure base can form.

Relationships & SexErinn WilliamsOctober 20, 2020ELEVATED life counselingdating, dating apps, Chemistry in relationships, absorbed in relationship, codependence at start of relationship, help with balance in relationships, millennials, starting a new relationship, limerance, limerence

Restaurant Anxiety: Dining Out While Recovering from an Eating Disorder

Going out to eat is supposed to be fun. It’s a great way to get out of the house, socialize, try new cuisines, and eat without having to cook. For people without eating disorders, restaurants are exciting and relaxing. If you have an eating disorder, however, going to a restaurant can feel like torture.

Coping StrategiesErinn WilliamsOctober 14, 2020ELEVATED life counselingeating disorders, Eating Disorder, symptoms of eating disorders, symptoms of anxiety, dating, dating anxiety, dating with an eating disorder, millennials, eating disorder recovery

3 Tips to Help You Kiss Dating Anxiety Goodbye

Four months after the partial reopening of Chicago, dating is back in full swing, and so is the anxiety that comes with it. Even before the threat of catching COVID, dating could be scary. First dates, especially, are often awkward, intimidating, or boring. The combination of uncertainty and vulnerability during a first date can be uncomfortable for anybody.

Relationships & SexErinn WilliamsOctober 7, 2020ELEVATED life counselingdating during pandemic, dating apps, dating burnout, social anxiety dating, dating with social anxiety, dating anxiety, difficulty dating, how to get over anxiety on dates, distracted by anxiety, millennials

How Home Decorating Improves Your Mental Health

What do home decorating and mental health have in common? According to experts, a lot! Most obviously, decorating is a form of self-expression. Color and pieces of art can be used to express emotions or interests. Pictures of friends and sentimental objects in a home reflect values and what is important to the person who lives there.

SupportErinn WilliamsOctober 1, 2020ELEVATED life counseling

Is Faith-Based Counseling Right for You?

When Christian clients reach out to me looking for faith-based counseling, I typically find that they are looking for a place where they can do one of three things: 1) process major life decisions with spiritual implications, such as getting married; 2) talk about day-to-day issues, such as work stress or dating, through a spiritual perspective; or 3) explore their values in the context of their beliefs, often when personal values and scripture seem to be conflicting.

SupportErinn WilliamsSeptember 22, 2020ELEVATED life counselingfaith-based counseling, spiritual counseling, religious counseling, dating, boundaries withs ex, boundaries with sex, building intimacy, sexual shame, sex drive, sexual orientation, christian counseling

Make Your Apartment Sexier

Take a moment to close your eyes and imagine yourself having the best sex of your life.

Now pause, and notice one thing in particular about your fantasy- the setting. Where are you?

Chances are, you’re not picturing having sex in a messy room with laundry all over the floor or on top of dirty sheets. Right? Didn’t think so.

Relationships & SexErinn WilliamsSeptember 16, 2020ELEVATED life counselingsex therapy, low desire, low libido, low sex drive, turn ons, turn offs, couples therapy, improve your sex life

Why You Can’t Stop Caring What Other People Think

“I want to stop caring about what other people think.” This is something I hear often from not only clients, but also people I’ve encountered throughout my everyday life. I also hear a lot of, “I don’t care what people think.” This one makes me chuckle. Why? Because it simply cannot be true. Everybody cares what people think, at least to some degree.

Coping StrategiesErinn WilliamsSeptember 8, 2020ELEVATED life counselinghow to stop caring about what others think, self-esteem, self-acceptance, love yourself, how to love yourself, why do i care what other people think of me, self love, anxiety, ACT, acceptance and commitment therapy, brene brown, dbt, people pleasing, how to stop people pleasing, people pleaser