Restaurant Anxiety: Dining Out While Recovering from an Eating Disorder
By Mary Claire Schibelka, LPC
Going out to eat is supposed to be fun. It’s a great way to get out of the house, socialize, try new cuisines, and eat without having to cook. For people without eating disorders, restaurants are exciting and relaxing. If you have an eating disorder, however, going to a restaurant can feel like torture.
Restaurants, because of their obvious focus on food, are full of triggers for people struggling with eating disorders. Uncertainty about how a dish is prepared or how many calories are in it can cause anxiety symptoms like fear of weight gain or hyperfocus on body size and appearance. Many restaurants do print the amount of calories per dish on the menu. This too can cause anxiety and urges to engage in eating disorder behaviors.
Other aspects of dining out people with eating disorders may struggle with include large portion sizes, multiple courses, extensive menu choices, and lack of knowledge about ingredients. Many also find it difficult to eat among others without comparing their appearance, body size, food choice, and amount of food eaten with those around them.
Dining out while in recovery from an eating disorder can be challenging. Restaurants present a lot of stimuli, much of it triggering, and can feel very overwhelming. While restaurant anxiety is uncomfortable, it’s important that those in recovery learn to cope with it and reclaim the luxury that dining out is intended to be. To cope with the emotions that come up while dining out and introduce joy back into the experience, those in recovery can do the following things:
Plan Ahead*
If not knowing what’s on the menu is causing you anxiety, consider looking up the menu ahead of time. Before doing this, take a few deep breaths. Look at the menu and ask yourself, “What would I choose to eat if I were fully recovered?” You may not know the answer to this question yet. Just do the best you can. Exit the menu and commit to order the choice you made while envisioning the healthiest version of yourself.
You may also want to make an escape plan. In the event that you feel overwhelmed, it might be helpful to take a quick bathroom break or step outside for a breath of fresh air. Plan ahead how you can excuse yourself from the table if you want to.
Eat Mindfully
It can be hard to focus on your meal when your thoughts are racing. Eat at a moderate pace, taking sips of water every few bites. Notice the flavor, texture, and smell of what you’re eating. Take deep, intentional breaths into your belly, and see if you can pay attention to your breath, your food, and the conversation at the table at the same time. Mindfulness can help you know when you’re full and also promote better enjoyment of the experience altogether!
Consider All Foods Equal
Creating a mental list of “good” and “bad” foods is sure to cause anxiety when dining out. When looking at the menu, remember that your body knows how to balance itself out. No matter what you order off the menu, your body will tell you when it’s still hungry and when it’s full. It also knows how to balance out richness and density. For example, if you eat a burger and fries for lunch, you will likely crave vegetables at dinnertime. Give yourself permission to order what you want, eat mindfully, and trust your body to take care of the rest.
Eating at restaurants can be difficult for people with eating disorders. Learning to manage anxiety and eat flexibly at restaurants is an important part of recovery. To learn more about eating disorder recovery and its benefits, see the ELEVATED Life Counseling “Services” page or visit me on Instagram at @therapywithmaryclaire.