If you’re following The Bachelorette, you likely saw last week’s episode, in which Bachelorette Clare Crawley and Jason Foster, the former NFL player selected for the first one-on-one date of Season 16, exchanged emotional stories in the woods. The date began with the couple releasing primal screams into the night air, followed by their writing of hurtful words others used to label them on stone tablets, smashing the tablets against the rocks, and then writing and sharing letters to their childhood selves with one another. Clare opened up about feeling invisible during high school. Jason, clearly new to this whole vulnerability thing, vaguely alluded to his own childhood trauma, admitting that talking about his “demons” is difficult for him. The two ended the evening with a makeout session, and Clare rewarded Jason for his hard emotional labor with the first rose of the week.
Read More“I want to stop caring about what other people think.” This is something I hear often from not only clients, but also people I’ve encountered throughout my everyday life. I also hear a lot of, “I don’t care what people think.” This one makes me chuckle. Why? Because it simply cannot be true. Everybody cares what people think, at least to some degree.
Read MoreIf you’ve ever been to a therapist and talked through the stress that your partner is putting you through, a common question your therapist might ask you is, “Have you talked to them about it?” The question is usually followed up by encouragement to “share how you are feeling” with your partner. This well-meaning piece of counsel, however, can lead you down the wrong path.
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The sinking feeling of shame- everybody knows it. Unlike guilt, which is focused on regretted behavior, shame is the deeper belief that there is something wrong with you. According to Brene Brown, shame researcher and viral Ted Talk speaker, guilt sounds like, “I’m sorry; I made a mistake,” while shame condemns, “I’m sorry; I am a mistake.”
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