Every Single’s Guide to Thriving During the 2020 Holidays
By Mary Claire Schibelka, LPC
I’ve got a quiz for you! Which of the following statements most accurately summarizes your feelings about being single during the holidays?
Love it! Fewer gifts to buy.
I’m a bit lonely, nothing too serious.
Annoyed. If I see another diamond commercial on Hulu, I’ll scream.
I have decided not to leave the house until March.
I think we’re all aware that being single during the holidays can be tough. You know how it is. Seasonal rom coms start clogging up your Netflix recommendations. Matching pajamas on Instagram. All that stuff that’s fun and cute unless you’re the one not doing it. Even if you answered “A” and love being single, Aunt Karen with the questions about why you’re still single can get pretty annoying this time of year.
It’s normal to experience loneliness or sadness around the holidays whether you’re single or not. Sometimes being single, though, can amplify these feelings. According to the Girlboss article, “How To Cope When The Holiday Blues Creep In,” these feelings can be attributed to stress, high expectations, and increased media focus on love and relationships during the holiday season. Use these tips to fight relationship FOMO, continue your journey of self-growth, and live your most satisfying life during the 2020 holidays.
Start a Gratitude Journal
Sometimes during singleness, it feels really easy to focus on everything that you’re missing out on. This year, start a list of everything you do have. Focus specifically on experiences you’re thankful for that wouldn’t be possible if you were in a relationship. The more you list, the more you’ll start to notice the beauty of this time in your life.
Go Back To Your Values
So much of my work involves helping clients identify and live according to their values. Why? Because values are your roadmap to a deep sense of joy. You will never be happy 100% of the time, but as long as you act in accordance with your values, you will create a life of meaningful and fulfilling experiences, and you will grow into a person you love. Complete this worksheet by Russ Harris, the author of The Happiness Trap, to learn about your values. Then, make a list of all the values-guided activities you can do this holiday season.
Give Back
Change your perspective on life this year by improving someone else’s. Volunteering to help others reduces your focus on your own problems. It also feels really good to know you’re bettering someone else’s holiday experience, even if you’re not completely happy about your own. Chicago dwellers, check out this Thrillist article to find local volunteer opportunities according to your skillset.
Invest in Yourself
This holiday season, take the money you would have spent on gifts for a significant other and put it towards something you’ve always wanted to do for yourself. Maybe you’ve been thinking about taking an online course or buying a new camera to start your YouTube channel. No matter what is, now is a great time to take the next step towards that goal you’ve had waiting for you on the back burner.
Being single during the holidays isn’t always easy, but it can be a time of deep contentment, gratitude, and development. What’s your favorite winter holiday? Tell me on Instagram at @therapywithmaryclaire.