Every year, about 40 million people, or 18% of the US population1, report struggling with anxiety. Anxiety is a mental, emotional, and physical experience characterized by worry, tension, overthinking, insomnia, panic, and in severe cases, symptoms like rapid heart beat, trouble breathing, sweating, and feeling unreal or out of control. If you struggle with mild anxiety, such as slight overthinking about work, or severe symptoms, like full out panic attacks, tracking your symptoms and identifying your triggers may be the answer.
Read More“I want to stop caring about what other people think.” This is something I hear often from not only clients, but also people I’ve encountered throughout my everyday life. I also hear a lot of, “I don’t care what people think.” This one makes me chuckle. Why? Because it simply cannot be true. Everybody cares what people think, at least to some degree.
Read MoreHave you ever had one of those nightmares where you’re expected to perform a task at work you have no idea how to do? If so, you’re familiar with the panic and humiliation that comes from being completely unprepared. Maybe this has even happened to you in real life! Nobody wants to go into something important without preparing first. Whether it’s school, a new job, or a race, adequate planning and training can help you feel more confident and perform better.
Read MoreSo you’re thinking about talking to someone. Great! Maybe you’ve been thinking about it for a while and now all the crap that 2020 has had to offer has pushed you to take the step. You’re feeling ready (or at least willing) to start the journey and work on things that might have been piling up for years. If this is you, I commend you for your courage.
Read MoreDrip, cortado, pour-over, Sumatra, fair-trade, draft nitro cold brew- twenty years ago, these terms might have easily been confused with those of a foreign language, but for Millennial coffee drinkers, such are part of standard vernacular. Millennials drink about 44% of coffee in the United States, and with smartphones delivering neverending emails, an obsession with productivity, and lucrative side hustles, it’s no wonder they need the extra boost.
Read MoreIf you’ve ever found yourself feeling overly concerned about the strength of your relationship, worrying about how much your partner loves you, or feeling on edge that you are not enough for your partner, then you might have relationship anxiety. This fairly common experience can be tricky to pick apart. It is often difficult to determine if your concerns are simply stories you’re blowing up in your own mind or actually based on actions your partner has taken. When it goes unchecked, this anxiety has the capacity to wreak havoc on even the best suited pairs.
Read MoreLove what you’ll do, and you’ll never work a day in your life. That’s the common phrase. Love when you do it, and you might never have to work another night in your life either. Somewhere along the line, humans decided that the most efficient workday exists between 9 AM and 5 PM. Oh, the good ole’ 9 to 5. Covet or hate it, this routine style of working has truly made a name for itself.
Read MoreIf you’ve ever been to a therapist and talked through the stress that your partner is putting you through, a common question your therapist might ask you is, “Have you talked to them about it?” The question is usually followed up by encouragement to “share how you are feeling” with your partner. This well-meaning piece of counsel, however, can lead you down the wrong path.
Read MoreWomxn and makeup have a complicated relationship. For some, it is an art. A luxury that one treats herself to. Even an indulgence. For others, a necessary evil. Something imposed upon them by society. Some reject it altogether, and others could take it or leave it.
Read MoreWhat happens in a relationship when you try to bridge the gap between what you want and what you have? Control issues pop up. If you’ve ever found yourself saying or thinking things like:
“You should do/think/act like this”
“I’d be happy if only you’d...”
“You would be more _______ if you loved me”
“I need you to be more like so-and-so”
then chances are you are trying to control your partner. Trying to control your partner can lead to major issues for a couple. Let’s explore why some of us attempt to assert our control and why it ultimately is not healthy in your relationship!
Read More
Imagine that feeling you get when you first start to like someone. Few things in life compare to the fresh feeling of butterflies in your stomach when you start to realize that somebody new, or maybe someone who’s been hiding in plain sight all along, could be somebody for you. Excitement, nerves, and novelty make an irresistible cocktail.
Read MoreHave you had this moment with your partner: Partner A is yelling at Partner B, “We gotta go! We’re gonna be late!” Partner B is thinking, “It’s a party, it’s called being fashionably late” as Partner B takes time finishing up getting ready. Partner A is fuming about the lack of urgency Partner B is displaying. An argument ensues on the way to party. Whether you are Partner A or B you’re likely getting frustrated that your partner isn’t seeing your point of view.
Read More
If you’ve ever been in therapy, you’ve likely heard the term self-compassion. Self-compassion in simple terms means kindness to yourself. It might look like forgiving yourself for your mistakes or going easy on yourself about your imperfections. Often, in an effort to help clients find compassion for themselves, I ask, “What would you say to a friend in your situation?” knowing that we are almost always kinder to others than we are to ourselves. For some, this gentle reminder is enough to change the pattern of harshness, but for those with a long history of self-deprecation, the prospect of treating yourself the way you would treat a loved one might not seem doable.
Read More
As the City of Chicago continues to open up, many are still concerned about their health in the midst of the Coronavirus-19 pandemic. Sure, you can protect yourself by wearing a mask and washing your hands regularly, but what if you wish to avoid going out altogether unless absolutely necessary? There is no shame in that! Everybody has a different level of comfortability when it comes to reentering the world, and many would rather wait for a vaccine.
Read MoreEmotional wounds, or deep-seated psychological and emotional pain, can develop in a number of ways. Some wounds happen immediately, such as after witnessing the death of a friend. Others develop over time as a result of repeated experiences like parental neglect, unhealthy relationships, and systemic racism.
Emotional wounds impact the way we perceive and interact with the world around us, yet they can often go undetected, even by ourselves. Internalizing and externalizing behaviors often show up as a result of emotional pain but to the untrained eye can often be excused as personality traits like shyness or aggression. Instead of dismissing or shaming ourselves and others, we can learn to recognize the following four symptoms as alarm bells signaling the existence of pain and the need for healing.
Read More
On Friday, June 5, Netflix will air its fourth and final season of hit show 13 Reasons Why. Previous seasons of the show have attracted millions of viewers, but critics worry that the implications of viewing the series could be dangerous.
Read More
The sinking feeling of shame- everybody knows it. Unlike guilt, which is focused on regretted behavior, shame is the deeper belief that there is something wrong with you. According to Brene Brown, shame researcher and viral Ted Talk speaker, guilt sounds like, “I’m sorry; I made a mistake,” while shame condemns, “I’m sorry; I am a mistake.”
Read MoreHow many times in the past month have you chosen to do something even if it meant putting up with uncomfortable feelings? Maybe you woke up at the sound of your morning alarm although staying in bed for another hour would have been much preferred. Maybe you worried about looking silly while wearing a mask to the grocery store during the COVID-19 crisis, but you wore one anyways. Or perhaps you chose to forgo watching your favorite Netflix show in order to write a paper or study for an upcoming exam.
Read More
“I went through his phone.” “I hacked her Facebook.” “Give me your Instagram password so I know I can trust you.” “Share your location with me.” If you haven’t been on the giving or receiving end of one of these statements, I’m willing to bet that you know or have heard of someone who has.
Read MoreSocial media: good or evil? The battle is nothing new. What is new is that now, for the first time, users are engaging in social media while practicing social distancing, away from the outside world.
Read More