Imagine that you’re in a relationship, and one day, you discover that your partner was unfaithful. You might immediately ask yourself, “Am I not good enough?” or “What’s missing in this relationship that they had to go somewhere else to find?” Many people believe that if their partner cheats, it must be due to a shortcoming either in the relationship, sex, or worse- in themselves. But what if I told you that it’s possible none of those things were the problem?
Read MoreWe all know that no relationship is perfect. Fighting is a normal and healthy part of every relationship. But when you feel hurt, rejected, ignored or dismissed by your partner, how do you handle it? Do you attempt to keep getting your point across? Do you try to control how your partner behaves? When you're hurt, do you tell your partner everything they’ve ever done to hurt you? Or do you get back at them somehow, either discreetly or overtly?
Some people do a combo of all these strategies, but today we will explore the last one: getting even.
What happens in a relationship when you try to bridge the gap between what you want and what you have? Control issues pop up. If you’ve ever found yourself saying or thinking things like:
“You should do/think/act like this”
“I’d be happy if only you’d...”
“You would be more _______ if you loved me”
“I need you to be more like so-and-so”
then chances are you are trying to control your partner. Trying to control your partner can lead to major issues for a couple. Let’s explore why some of us attempt to assert our control and why it ultimately is not healthy in your relationship!
Read MoreTrust is quite arguably one of the most important factors in any relationship. Trust creates feelings of safety, which makes room for vulnerability and a general sense of being able to relax around the other person. Trust is the antidote to relational anxiety.
Not only does trust mean believing that your partner is loyal, it also means knowing that they have positive intentions in your relationship and that they’re looking out for your best interest.
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“I went through his phone.” “I hacked her Facebook.” “Give me your Instagram password so I know I can trust you.” “Share your location with me.” If you haven’t been on the giving or receiving end of one of these statements, I’m willing to bet that you know or have heard of someone who has.
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