What makes a relationship healthy? Is it respect? Mutual support? Open communication? You may know what a strong relationship looks like, but knowing how to get there can be difficult. Sometimes, your temper flares up when you get frustrated by your partner, or life gets busy, and you find yourself being short and distant.
Read MoreImagine you’re in the market for a new car. There are several things on your list of qualities the car must have: four doors, five-star safety features, adequate trunk space, and over 20 miles of miles per gallon of gas.
You’ll likely find a number of cars that meet this criteria, so what do you do? Do you test drive a few and ultimately pick one that meets your needs and falls within your budget? Or do you go above and beyond- test driving dozens, analyzing which rides the smoothest, which has a backup camera, which has satellite radio, a sunroof, the best speakers, built-in GPS navigation?
Read MoreIf you found out today that your partner cheated on you, what questions would you have? Would you want to know how many times? What about what the other person looked like? Would you want to know where their encounters took place or who was better in bed?
Read MoreWhy do you get upset when your partner comes home later than they say they will? Why do you get excited when they surprise you with flowers? In every relationship, both partners have their own set of expectations. When your expectations are met or exceeded, you feel loved, appreciated, and satisfied with your relationship. When they’re not, conflict ensues, and the relationship can suffer.
Read MoreAsk most married couples why they decided to tie the knot, and you might hear one of the following answers: “because we were in love”, “we wanted to have children”, or “we were ready to settle down.” On the surface, these seem like good answers. But are they enough?
Read MoreRemember that blissful feeling at the beginning of your relationship, when you swore your partner was absolutely perfect, and there was no one in the world you’d rather spend time with? When was the last time you felt that? If you’re in a long relationship and realizing that’s been days, months, or even years since you last felt passionate about your hunny, don’t worry. You’re actually in the majority, and there’s something you can do about it.
Read MoreWhat if my partner stops loving me? Are we really compatible? Am I with the right person? Are they cheating on me?
These are questions that anyone who’s ever been in a relationship has likely asked themself at some point. Frankly, never questioning whether you and you and your partner are a good match, if they’re faithful, and what you would do if the two of you broke up wouldn’t be healthy. But if you struggle with relationship anxiety, these thoughts can quickly become obsessive and even detrimental to your relationship.
Read MoreImagine that you’re in a relationship, and one day, you discover that your partner was unfaithful. You might immediately ask yourself, “Am I not good enough?” or “What’s missing in this relationship that they had to go somewhere else to find?” Many people believe that if their partner cheats, it must be due to a shortcoming either in the relationship, sex, or worse- in themselves. But what if I told you that it’s possible none of those things were the problem?
Read MoreQuality time. Physical touch. Words of affirmation. Gifts. Acts of service. Most of my clients have a sense of what love language they speak. Some are even able to identify the preferred love languages of their partners. Identifying you and your partner’s love languages is a great step towards increasing intimacy and reducing conflict in your relationship. Where many people get stuck, I’ve found, is in trying to figure out how to communicate in their partner’s differing love language, and even more so, how to get their partner to communicate in theirs.
Read MoreWe all have patterns in our relationships we know are not helpful for the longevity of the relationship. You may act passive aggressively. You may retaliate with hostility when you’re feeling stressed or angry. You and your partner may bicker or fight often, leading to disconnection. Whatever you may find yourself doing, very few things approach the sadness and destructiveness of a partner who withdraws from the relationship when feeling displeased, angry, or hurt.
Read MoreIf you’ve ever found yourself feeling overly concerned about the strength of your relationship, worrying about how much your partner loves you, or feeling on edge that you are not enough for your partner, then you might have relationship anxiety. This fairly common experience can be tricky to pick apart. It is often difficult to determine if your concerns are simply stories you’re blowing up in your own mind or actually based on actions your partner has taken. When it goes unchecked, this anxiety has the capacity to wreak havoc on even the best suited pairs.
Read MoreIf you’ve ever been to a therapist and talked through the stress that your partner is putting you through, a common question your therapist might ask you is, “Have you talked to them about it?” The question is usually followed up by encouragement to “share how you are feeling” with your partner. This well-meaning piece of counsel, however, can lead you down the wrong path.
Read MoreWhat happens in a relationship when you try to bridge the gap between what you want and what you have? Control issues pop up. If you’ve ever found yourself saying or thinking things like:
“You should do/think/act like this”
“I’d be happy if only you’d...”
“You would be more _______ if you loved me”
“I need you to be more like so-and-so”
then chances are you are trying to control your partner. Trying to control your partner can lead to major issues for a couple. Let’s explore why some of us attempt to assert our control and why it ultimately is not healthy in your relationship!
Read More
Imagine that feeling you get when you first start to like someone. Few things in life compare to the fresh feeling of butterflies in your stomach when you start to realize that somebody new, or maybe someone who’s been hiding in plain sight all along, could be somebody for you. Excitement, nerves, and novelty make an irresistible cocktail.
Read More