13 Tips for Watching 13 Reasons Why
By Mary Claire Schibelka, LPC
On Friday, June 5, Netflix will air its fourth and final season of hit show 13 Reasons Why. Previous seasons of the show have attracted millions of viewers, but critics worry that the implications of viewing the series could be dangerous.
13 Reasons Why aired its first season in 2017, focusing on the fictional story of Hannah Baker, a 17-year old high school student who committed suicide, leaving behind 13 cassette tapes, each calling out a different person and his or her contribution to her decision. Not only has the series been criticized for romanticizing suicide, it has also been called out for depicting topics that young viewers might not be equipped to handle, such as sexual assault, bullying, gun violence, and substance abuse. One study showed an increase in youth suicides after the release of the first season, thus leading to Netflix’s decision to remove a graphic scene of the main character’s suicide.
Regardless of its opposition, the show has since released two more seasons, with the third arriving in a little over a week. If Season 4 is anything like the last three, viewers are likely to witness more difficult and perhaps even disturbing content. There are ways, however, to watch the show, learn from it, and protect your mental health while doing so. If you’re a fan who’s planning on partaking, check out the following 13 tips for a safe and enjoyable viewing experience:
1. Don’t Ignore the Warnings
After receiving backlash, Netflix began including brief videos before the first episodes of Seasons 2 and 3 during which cast members speak directly to the audience, advising them against watching if they are currently struggling with any of the issues depicted in the show. Heed these warnings to avoid feeling overwhelmed by content that hits too close to home.
2. Watch It With Someone Else
Whether it’s in person or on FaceTime, watch the show with a friend to prevent feeling isolated. It can seriously help to have another person to chat or “oh my gosh” with during uncomfortable scenes.
3. Leave the Lights On
Watching TV in the dark creates a cinematic experience. But when watching a show that focuses on such heavy topics, leaving the lights on can help you stay grounded and less wrapped up in the emotions of the characters.
4. Chunk It
Binge watching is tempting, especially during quarantine. But 13 straight hours of somber? That’s enough to suck the soul out of anybody. Allow yourself the excitement of suspense by spacing out the episodes over at least a few days.
5. Go Outside
Between episodes, take breaks to go outside and remind yourself that unlike in the forever-overcast town of Crestmont, the sun still shines and all is not lost.
6. Watch the Interviews
It’s hard to believe that Jessica Davis’s real name isn’t Jessica Davis. The 13 Reasons Why actors are convincing, and it can make the show seem so real. Watching interviews of cast members like Alisha Boe (the real Jessica Davis), might help put some mental separation between you and the emotions of the characters.
7. If You’re Already Having a Bad Day, Watch Something Else
Take my word for it on this one. This is not the show that’s gonna lift you out of your funk.
8. Eat, Drink Water, Sleep, and Shower
All these things are part of a healthy self-care routine. The urge to watch “just one more episode” before eating lunch or going to sleep is real, but forgoing these things for the sake of seeing what happens to Clay Jensen just isn’t worth it. All it does is make you more susceptible to being negatively affected by the show.
9. Skip Upsetting Scenes
If you’re a fan of the series but are worried about scenes that might be a bit too intense, ask a friend who watches Season 4 before you to take note of any parts containing the type of content you want to avoid. Then, hit fast forward during those parts and ask that friend to fill you in, minus the details.
10. Grab Your Pets
Companion animals have been linked with all kinds of emotional benefits including reduced anxiety and depression. Turn your cat or dog into a fan of 13 Reasons Why by snuggling them while you watch.
11. Create an Alternate Ending
I don’t know the show’s ending. But if for some reason, it doesn’t seem right to you, or if there was an issue in one of the episodes that you feel wasn’t handled appropriately, write down what could’ve happened instead. What could the producers have done differently to make the show more helpful and socially responsible?
12. Utilize the Resources
The show’s official website, 13reasonswhy.info, offers a number of resources including links to various mental health organizations’ websites, crisis hotline numbers for 58 countries, a discussion guide, and short videos explaining how to handle real issues like suspected violence, friends who are depressed, and consent. Familiarize yourself with the site and take advantage of its offerings if you think they could be helpful.
13. Talk About It
13 Reasons Why has the potential to be highly impactful if watched and processed with intention. Take the time to talk about feelings and opinions that arise while you watch. Make sure you’re talking with someone you feel emotionally safe with, such as a trusted friend, family member, or counselor. Talking prevents tough feelings from festering, and it’s also the first step to healing.
The decision of whether or not to watch 13 Reasons Why is personal, and it should not be informed solely by others’ opinions, negative or positive. If you choose to watch, pay attention to the sometimes subtle messages your body sends you, such as thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations (like your gut feeling). Regardless of how far in you are, remember that you can always decide to switch off the TV if it becomes too much. After all, you can always read the spoilers.