We all have patterns in our relationships we know are not helpful for the longevity of the relationship. You may act passive aggressively. You may retaliate with hostility when you’re feeling stressed or angry. You and your partner may bicker or fight often, leading to disconnection. Whatever you may find yourself doing, very few things approach the sadness and destructiveness of a partner who withdraws from the relationship when feeling displeased, angry, or hurt.
Read MoreSo you’re thinking about talking to someone. Great! Maybe you’ve been thinking about it for a while and now all the crap that 2020 has had to offer has pushed you to take the step. You’re feeling ready (or at least willing) to start the journey and work on things that might have been piling up for years. If this is you, I commend you for your courage.
Read MoreWhat happens in a relationship when you try to bridge the gap between what you want and what you have? Control issues pop up. If you’ve ever found yourself saying or thinking things like:
“You should do/think/act like this”
“I’d be happy if only you’d...”
“You would be more _______ if you loved me”
“I need you to be more like so-and-so”
then chances are you are trying to control your partner. Trying to control your partner can lead to major issues for a couple. Let’s explore why some of us attempt to assert our control and why it ultimately is not healthy in your relationship!
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Imagine that feeling you get when you first start to like someone. Few things in life compare to the fresh feeling of butterflies in your stomach when you start to realize that somebody new, or maybe someone who’s been hiding in plain sight all along, could be somebody for you. Excitement, nerves, and novelty make an irresistible cocktail.
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If you’ve ever been in therapy, you’ve likely heard the term self-compassion. Self-compassion in simple terms means kindness to yourself. It might look like forgiving yourself for your mistakes or going easy on yourself about your imperfections. Often, in an effort to help clients find compassion for themselves, I ask, “What would you say to a friend in your situation?” knowing that we are almost always kinder to others than we are to ourselves. For some, this gentle reminder is enough to change the pattern of harshness, but for those with a long history of self-deprecation, the prospect of treating yourself the way you would treat a loved one might not seem doable.
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As the City of Chicago continues to open up, many are still concerned about their health in the midst of the Coronavirus-19 pandemic. Sure, you can protect yourself by wearing a mask and washing your hands regularly, but what if you wish to avoid going out altogether unless absolutely necessary? There is no shame in that! Everybody has a different level of comfortability when it comes to reentering the world, and many would rather wait for a vaccine.
Read MoreEmotional wounds, or deep-seated psychological and emotional pain, can develop in a number of ways. Some wounds happen immediately, such as after witnessing the death of a friend. Others develop over time as a result of repeated experiences like parental neglect, unhealthy relationships, and systemic racism.
Emotional wounds impact the way we perceive and interact with the world around us, yet they can often go undetected, even by ourselves. Internalizing and externalizing behaviors often show up as a result of emotional pain but to the untrained eye can often be excused as personality traits like shyness or aggression. Instead of dismissing or shaming ourselves and others, we can learn to recognize the following four symptoms as alarm bells signaling the existence of pain and the need for healing.
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On Friday, June 5, Netflix will air its fourth and final season of hit show 13 Reasons Why. Previous seasons of the show have attracted millions of viewers, but critics worry that the implications of viewing the series could be dangerous.
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