Relationship researcher, John Gottman, spent four decades studying what makes relationships last. Based on 7 studies he conducted on couples who stay together vs. couples who divorce, Gottman is now able to predict with over 90% accuracy whether or not a married couple will divorce. While there are many factors that contribute to a couple’s decision to end their marriage, Gottman identifies 4 behaviors as the most common predictors of splitting up.
Read MoreImagine you’re in the market for a new car. There are several things on your list of qualities the car must have: four doors, five-star safety features, adequate trunk space, and over 20 miles of miles per gallon of gas.
You’ll likely find a number of cars that meet this criteria, so what do you do? Do you test drive a few and ultimately pick one that meets your needs and falls within your budget? Or do you go above and beyond- test driving dozens, analyzing which rides the smoothest, which has a backup camera, which has satellite radio, a sunroof, the best speakers, built-in GPS navigation?
Read MoreIf you found out today that your partner cheated on you, what questions would you have? Would you want to know how many times? What about what the other person looked like? Would you want to know where their encounters took place or who was better in bed?
Read MoreIf you’ve been dating for a while and have yet to find success, you may feel like your relationships keep ending for the same reasons over and over again. Maybe you keep feeling like nobody you date is “good enough,” or that things tend to go great until the relationship becomes more serious, and you suddenly lose interest. If this is the case for you, an avoidant attachment style may be to blame.
Read MoreWhy do you get upset when your partner comes home later than they say they will? Why do you get excited when they surprise you with flowers? In every relationship, both partners have their own set of expectations. When your expectations are met or exceeded, you feel loved, appreciated, and satisfied with your relationship. When they’re not, conflict ensues, and the relationship can suffer.
Read MoreAsk most married couples why they decided to tie the knot, and you might hear one of the following answers: “because we were in love”, “we wanted to have children”, or “we were ready to settle down.” On the surface, these seem like good answers. But are they enough?
Read MoreRemember that blissful feeling at the beginning of your relationship, when you swore your partner was absolutely perfect, and there was no one in the world you’d rather spend time with? When was the last time you felt that? If you’re in a long relationship and realizing that’s been days, months, or even years since you last felt passionate about your hunny, don’t worry. You’re actually in the majority, and there’s something you can do about it.
Read MoreIf you’ve ever found yourself feeling overly concerned about the strength of your relationship, worrying about how much your partner loves you, or feeling on edge that you are not enough for your partner, then you might have relationship anxiety. This fairly common experience can be tricky to pick apart. It is often difficult to determine if your concerns are simply stories you’re blowing up in your own mind or actually based on actions your partner has taken. When it goes unchecked, this anxiety has the capacity to wreak havoc on even the best suited pairs.
Read MoreIf you’ve ever been to a therapist and talked through the stress that your partner is putting you through, a common question your therapist might ask you is, “Have you talked to them about it?” The question is usually followed up by encouragement to “share how you are feeling” with your partner. This well-meaning piece of counsel, however, can lead you down the wrong path.
Read MoreHave you had this moment with your partner: Partner A is yelling at Partner B, “We gotta go! We’re gonna be late!” Partner B is thinking, “It’s a party, it’s called being fashionably late” as Partner B takes time finishing up getting ready. Partner A is fuming about the lack of urgency Partner B is displaying. An argument ensues on the way to party. Whether you are Partner A or B you’re likely getting frustrated that your partner isn’t seeing your point of view.
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All couples fight. It is normal for both happy and unhappy couples and at times it can be a helpful part of a relationship. One may ask, just how much fighting is okay? The work of Research Psychologist John Gottman, PhD, points to the fact that it’s not about how much fighting there is in a relationship. It’s about the types of interactions people have within those conflicts.
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