When clients come to me to discuss low sex drive and desire, there are always a couple items we check in on as we explore the problem. One of those things is to what extent they enjoy the sex they are having with their partner. This covers all sorts of ground: are they feeling pleasure during sex, are they feeling connected during sex, does their partner attend to their needs, are they attracted to their partner, are they doing the things they like to do while having sex? The logic behind this question is clear: why would one want to have more sex if the sex they are having isn’t that satisfying?

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