Making Dating Apps Work For You
By Mary Claire Schibelka, LPC
Dating during COVID seems impossible. Last summer, eyes were made across dance floors all over Chicago every Friday night. Now, dance floors are empty, and getting out of your pre-reserved seat to mingle is highly frowned upon, if not forbidden. Bumping into a good-looking stranger, formerly considered good luck, is now a reason to wash your hands.
Thankfully, we have the internet, and dating is not completely off the table. When the city closed, dating apps became the new Downtown. Online dating was deemed the most popular way for couples to meet in 2019. This year, it’s even hotter.
Dating apps have been the subject of controversial press. Some users report struggling to find long-term connections on dating apps, while other studies show that online dating is responsible for 30% of marriages. This research makes sense, given that online dating requires very little information up front. Like a gamble, it could go either way.
Consider dating apps the post-90’s version of a blind date. You go in knowing very little about the other person, and your one mission is to decide if you ever want to see him or her again. When done wrong, the whole thing can seem exhausting and like a waste of time. When done right, dating apps can work to save you both time and energy.
Choose the Right App
If you want love, you have to look in the right places. A search for the word “dating” in the iOS App Store reveals apps intended for relationships, hookups, sugar baby arrangements, and even affairs. Apps also exist for those looking to date based on characteristics such as age, religion, ethnicity, career, sexual preference, music taste, astrological sign, and kink. Do your research and read reviews before making a choice.
Take Advantage of Settings
Most of the popular apps, such as Tinder and Hinge, allow users to customize their potential matches. Want someone who goes to church? Done. You can also choose your desired age, height range, level of education, and more. Set preferences that align with your values to increase your chances of meeting someone in alignment.
Attract What You Want
If you are passionate about something, talk about it. Post pictures that represent who you really are. People with similar interests will notice.
Pickings can feel slim in a bar and online. All forms of dating require persistence, self-awareness, and taste. If you’re taking advantage of dating apps this summer, do so with safety and good judgment. Stay committed. A good one might be right at the tips of your freshly sanitized fingers.