Masturbation May! Exploring Self-Pleasure
By Erinn Williams, LCPC
May is National Masturbation Month! It’s totally healthy and completely normal to engage in self-pleasure. It provides an opportunity for us to get to know our bodies better and our own sexual responses - not to mention tons of health + wellness benefits!
Not everyone masturbates and that’s okay. Some people are committed to their partners and have no interest in self-pleasure. Others might have no sexual urges. Past trauma, religion and one’s cultural upbringing can affect whether someone masturbates. There should be zero-judgement of those that don’t. And for those of you not heading down south on your own, try to be open and let others feel better about masturbation.
SO, LET’S GET TO THE GOOD STUFF!
HEALTH BENEFITS
Research shows that masturbation and other sexual activities leading to pleasure and orgasm trigger the release of hormones and chemicals involved in the brain’s pleasure-reward center. These include:
• Dopamine is an important neurotransmitter known as the “happiness hormone” that makes you feel good and improves your mood.
• Oxytocin AKA the “love hormone”, promotes sexual, social and maternal behaviors associated with happiness. Its release supports well-being, growth, healing and even bonding (who doesn’t love an extra self-love boost)! It is also known to lower cortisol levels.
• Endorphins are the feel-good chemicals that can help reduce pain - also responsible for the rush of pleasure we get sometimes with movement/exercise.
• Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps reduce stress. There is also a connection between higher serotonin levels and an increase in mood.
• Adrenaline can lower stress by regulating your heart rate and blood vessels.
• Testosterone is the hormone released during sex that improves arousal and stamina.
Not to mention the overall general health benefits of masturbation such as: aiding in relaxation, promoting better sleep, reducing stress, relieving menstrual cramps, and enhancing self-esteem + body image!
SELF CARE
To some, masturbation plays a key part in their wellness routine - just like getting a massage, going to yoga, or meditating. It’s something that can make us feel better both mentally and physically and is an important step in promoting greater sexual health.
Sexual freedom and the ability to pleasure yourself is so important. It can provide a sense of independence, yet parts of society still view it as taboo or shameful. Realistically, masturbation can be a powerful tool that can help us become more comfortable in our own shoes and with our sexuality - promoting self-acceptance and boosting self-esteem.
Try making a weekly date with yourself. Draw a bath, but on some relaxing music, light a candle and grab your favorite vibrator. Giving yourself a little me-time can help you reclaim our own sexuality — on our own terms!
Caring for your own needs can and should be a priority. It’s not self-indulgent or even selfish because the more comfortable we are with our own bodies, the easier it is to communicate our needs, desires, likes and dislikes, to others - in the bedroom and out.
BETTER AT SEX
Masturbation is a great way to build a deeper appreciation of how your body works and how amazing it really is! It helps us understand what our bodies like and don’t like, plus, how we react to certain touches and stimulations. It can increase our openness and comfort levels when it comes to talking about sex and our bodies with our partners and even friends, doctors, etc.
Self-exploration can make you more attuned to sensual touch - which can boost sexual confidence WITH a partner! Studies have shown that a negative perception of your body can ultimately alter your libido, too.
Try to explore yourself and all your erogenous zones before heading down south. It’s natural and it’s normal. When you’re comfortable, mutual masturbation can be a safe way to get intimate with your partner by giving the other person a glimpse into what feels good and how to do it, adding another activity to spice things up in the bedroom!
The best way to strengthen muscles is to exercise - and when females masturbate, they are doing just that by strengthening the pelvic floor muscles at the same time - leading to better sex and more orgasms.
Masturbation isn’t new. Ancient Greek poetry described women pleasuring themselves and archaeologists have found dildos dating back 30,000 years! Try to remember that no two sex lives are the same – and that includes solo and sex with a partner.
There is no right or wrong way to masturbate. You don’t need to do it daily or even monthly to experience the benefits surrounding the act of self-pleasure. And if you do – that’s great!
Masturbation can provide ongoing awareness and information that will help you enjoy and improve sex throughout your life. Just remember, your pursuit of happiness and sexual pleasure is normal and ENCOURAGED.