4 Relationship Myths To Stop Believing Today

By Mary Claire Schibelka, LPC

Have you ever wished you had closer relationships?  I’m not just talking about romantic relationships, but also friendships, family relationships, and even acquaintance-level relationships that have the potential to grow deeper.

Relationships are essential for wellbeing, as they provide a sense of comfort, belonging, and security.  Studies have shown that individuals with more relationships have greater life expectancies and recovery rates from illnesses than those with fewer connections.  While surface-level relationships count in this category and can have a positive impact on mental and physical health, it’s the deeper, more intimate relationships that are known to reduce feelings of loneliness and isolation the most.

If you’ve been making an effort to attend social events and meet people, yet you’re still having trouble relating to others on a deeper level, you may be abiding by some false relationship beliefs that are damaging your connections.  Read below to figure out if any of the following relationship myths are blocking you from building more meaningful relationships with others.

“If I talk about something I’m struggling with, I’ll be a burden.”

One of the primary reasons why people need each other is for the ability to share their struggles.  You’ve likely heard your network of relationships referred to as your “support system.”  This is why.  Next time you’re struggling with something, try opening up a little bit to the friend you trust the most.  Their body language and verbal response will tell you whether or not it’s safe to open up more.  If you’ve never done this before, you’ll likely be surprised at how much other people are willing to listen and offer support.

“If I disagree with someone, it will end our relationship.”

Not only are disagreements normal, they’re also healthy!  In fact, one of the worst things you can do for a relationship is pretend to be okay with something when you’re really not.  Doing this creates false expectations and makes it harder to be your true self later on in the relationship.  Realizing that you and a friend or romantic partner disagree on something creates an opportunity to learn from one another, grow, and develop conflict resolution skills.  

“If I talk about myself, I’ll monopolize the conversation.”

Talking about yourself is a requirement if you want to build and deepen relationships.  It’s how people get to know you.  If you’re worried that you’re talking too much about yourself, try inserting some questions into your end of the conversation.  This will provide an opportunity to see where you and the other person are alike and which interests you share.

“If I don’t say 100% of what I’m thinking and feeling, I won’t be authentic.”

While yes, authenticity is important, filtering is equally as essential.  Speaking your mind 100% of the time comes off as abrasive and can scare away many of the people you had the chance of building healthy relationships with.  There are some occasions that warrant being blunt, such as if your boundaries are crossed or someone is asking you to do something against your values, but otherwise, being diplomatic is a better choice.  Avoid gossipping, complaining about minor issues, oversharing, and stirring the pot by bringing up controversial topics.

While the myths above are quite common, they are untrue and can be damaging to relationships.  Do a thorough examination of your interactions with others to see if you’re falling into any of these traps without even realizing it.  Then, re-enter the same social spaces with your new set of beliefs.  You’d be surprised how far some simple changes in thinking can impact the way you show up in relationships with others.