How To Be a Good Friend This Holiday Season
By Mary Claire Schibelka, LPC
Halloween is over, and that means the winter holiday season is here! Everybody knows that this time of year is incredibly busy. Stress runs high as schedules fill up with travel, holiday parties, gift shopping, and preparing for guests. Spending time with friends can easily get pushed to the back burner. If you haven’t received a “Let’s get together after the Holidays” text, it’s likely only a matter of time.
Pushing off unnecessary plans may seem like a helpful way to relieve stress, but really, research shows that spending time with friends is actually the antidote to stress! Study after study goes to show that people with tight-knit social networks typically experience lower blood pressure, better sleep, less stress, and a greater perceived ability to take on difficult tasks than those without close friendships.
This Holiday Season, set a goal for yourself to keep in touch with your friends. Take the initiative to be a good friend, and watch as this often difficult time of year begins to feel a whole lot easier and much more enjoyable.
Prioritize
Not all friendships are equally deserving of your time and effort. This is especially true when availability in your schedule is scarce. Differentiate between active and passive friendships and focus your energy on tending to the active.
Active friendships are the ones that mean the most to you. The people who belong in this category are the ones who you learn from, who challenge you, who you can confide in, and with whom you find joy. Passive friendships are the ones that require less attention. Passive friends may include coworkers or people you run into at the gym. Though you may like them, they’re not the people you’re very close to or spend a great deal of time with.
Schedule Friend Dates
Make sure you have enough time to spend with friends this season by intentionally scheduling meetings with them into your calendar the way you would a work meeting or a massage. This may seem unnecessary or silly. That is, until you remember the extensive benefits of maintaining social relationships.
Since you likely have other obligations, like family or a job, optimize your schedule by planning friend dates during times that you already have carved out in your day, such as during lunch or while your kids are at holiday parties of their own.
Create a Tradition
Creating a holiday tradition with friends ensures that no matter how busy you all get throughout the year, you have a specific time and event set aside to get together. Plan an annual cookie exchange or trip to the Christmas tree farm, or perhaps decide to reunite once a year for lunch at a festive restaurant, like Chicago’s The Walnut Room.
Give a Gift
Gift giving is a way of showing love and appreciation in numerous cultures around the world. The point of giving a gift is not to show off with extravagant, pricey items. Rather, give a gift that comes from the heart, like a trinket you picked up while traveling or even a card. Giving small but meaningful gifts shows friends that you were thinking of them when you picked it out, and at a time of year where most people are focused on anything but themselves, a gesture like this from a friend can go a long way.
It’s the Small Things
Being a good friend this Holiday Season does not require you to stretch yourself incredibly thin, spend a ton of money, or blow off other priorities. There are plenty of simple, yet meaningful ways to connect with others in your circle. Whether you’re reaching out to schedule a mid-shopping coffee date or sending a funny holiday meme, just knowing that you care may be exactly what a friend needs when drowning in a sea of wrapping paper.