LOVE LANGUAGE AND AFFIRMATION
By Erinn Williams, LCPC
Sometimes it can be tough to understand our partners. One partner might emotionally express love differently than their better half.
Say hello, to Love Language: how we receive and express love in a relationship. Each person has a primary love language that we must learn to speak if we want that person to feel loved.
When you understand your partner’s love language and vice versa, it can help you navigate each other’s exceptions and needs. But, showing your partner that you care can’t be that hard, right? Many couples actually struggle to do this and that’s 100% normal!
In the early 1990s, Dr. Gary Chapman published his book, “The 5 Love Languages” after seeing a pattern in the couples that he was counseling: they were misunderstanding one another and their needs. That led to his discovery of the five love languages that people might respond to: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time and Physical Touch. These love languages are present not just in romantic relationships, but can be uncovered in friendships and family connections, too!
Today, we are going to focus on WORDS OF AFFIRMATION.
Words of affirmation are any spoken or written words that can confirm, support, uplift and empathize with another person in a positive way. Often times, when a person is drawn to words of affirmation as their love language, it’s because they believe words matter to help give them a literal voice to how they feel inside.
How do you know if words of affirmation is your love language? When your partner offers compliments, words of encouragement or even a simple “I love you,” do you feel the most happy or get butterflies inside? If that resonates with you, words of affirmation might be your love language!
If your partner’s love language is words of affirmation, having an open line of communication is also very important because harsh words and criticism can have lasting feelings and effects.
When it comes down to it, everyone differs in the ways that they want to receive love. By learning to give love in the ways that your partner can best receive it, and by asking your partner to do the same, you can build stronger relationships and bonds.